The Worst Movies Based On Video Games

It happens every year: a videogame has monumental success and Hollywood decides that they need to cash in on the craze. So what do they do? A studio buys the movie rights, hires someone who’s never even heard of the game to write a script, gets a $50 million budget, uses $20 million of it to contract a big name (like the Rock or Christian Slater), and prays that the same gamers who made the game successful will do the same to the movie. But we gamers are an anal bunch when it comes to console-to-screen adaptations, right? Sometimes, the Rock just doesn’t cut it. The following list are some of the worst movies from videogames that have ever been made. Factors include budgets, gross box office sales, names attached, storylines, and gimmicks.

10. Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. This is a sequel to the financial rocket that was the first movie. Unfortunately, the studio fell short in storyline by making it stray from any ties to the first movie. Jan de Bont directed this $118 million budgeted movie. As of yet, they haven’t hit $70 million in gross. The Cradle of Life is pure action with a James Bond/National Treasure feel to it. Angelina Jolie was a perfect choice for Lara Croft (Oh, you know she was), but she couldn’t keep the trilogy alive (a third movie was in the works, but cancelled).

9. Double Dragon. Scott Wolf and Mark Dacascos play Billy and Jimmy Lee. Right there you have the makings of a good action movie right? Well, add in Alyssa Milano and you might think, why is this movie on the Worst Movie List here at Love to Know Video Games? Over-the-top acting, unbelievable plotlines that don’t even pay a little homage to the game, and a poor boss battle at the end. You want me to keep going? Okay, it leaves you with the thought that there might be a sequel and Andy Dick has a 10 second part as a weatherman. Isn’t that scary enough?

8. Wing Commander. Okay, you would think that because the director is also the guy who created the games that he would do a good job of making this crossover movie work. Ha! I thought that too and then I saw that Freddie Prinze Jr. was cast as a star and the supporting roles were filled by Saffron Burrows, Matthew Lilliard, and Jurgen Prochnow. As a movie and video game buff, this did not sit well with me. The movie takes place a little before the first game, so any storylines wouldn’t really make any references that could be familiar. Wing Commander had a small budget, and an even smaller recoup. The best part of the movie was the fact that there was a premiere preview for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

7. Street Fighter. You might argue that this movie and #6 shouldn’t be on this list. I snub my nose at you. Cult followings can’t fix the writing, the directing, and the plain-old bad acting. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a fine actor in his own right, but can’t seem to get past the hammy dialogue to bring credibility to Street Fighter. Not even Raul Julia can help. And here’s a bit of trivia: Kylie Minogue played Cammy White. The plot is somewhat similar to the first game in the series, but the moviemakers used characters from Street Fighter II which made little sense to the plot. Street Fighter caused little Van Dammage to the box office.

6. Super Mario Brothers. I agree with you that Mario and Luigi are the most recognizable and best video game characters ever. But come on, just watch the movie and tell me you liked it. The cartoony feel of the Nintendo classic just doesn’t translate well as live action. John Leguizamo as Luigi, Dennis Hopper as King Koopa, and some guy as Mario (Bob Hoskins)? It does have the distinction as being the first movie based on a video game (again, another loosely based plot), so at least all you cult followers of Super Mario Bros can say that. And no, The Last Starfighter doesn’t count.

5. BloodRayne. This is another film directed by Uwe Boll (see below for his other fine works). There never has been a following for the BloodRayne games, so I can’t understand the thinking behind bringing it to screen. Maybe casting a sexy actress (Kristanna Loken) as BloodRayne in order to see her in tight outfits seemed like a good idea at the time, but the probable downfall was casting Meat Loaf. I’m no casting genius, but I think casting Meat Loaf in any role is the first step to failure. At least change his name to trick us. But put the failure in this perspective: the budget was $25 million and the movie (even though it was released in only 925 theatres—poor baby) has only grossed $1.5 million. Damn that Meat Loaf!

4. House of the Dead. Budget: $7,000,000. Gross Earnings: $3,000,000. The director Uwe Boll declining to direct the sequel in order to film BloodRayne: priceless. This movie was just an excuse to throw a rave with co-eds who wander off a lot to have sex and then get killed by zombies. I mean, I can’t blame Brightlight Pictures for the ingenious plotline, but maybe they should have changed the story a bit so that co-ed zombies are wandering off to have lots of sex and get killed by humans. Now that’s different. By the way, House of the Dead 2 was a straight-to-video masterpiece.

3. Alone in the Dark. Another Uwe Boll gem. This movie is loosely based on the series with the same name. And when I say loosely, I mean the rope has so much slack on it, you wished Christian Slater, Tara Reid and Stephen Dorff were hanging on it and falling into a pit of ‘I should have passed on this project’ hell. Sure, the characters’ names are right, but that’s the only thing that connects Alone in the Dark to the video game. That, and the clever title that tricks you into buying a ticket.

2. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. While the first Mortal Kombat movie obtained great authenticity following the storylines of the game, Annihilation decided to change the entire cast except for Robin Shou (Liu Kang) and Talisa Soto (Kitana). The fight scenes were horrendously fake and it seemed that the green screen art was rushed. The budget hit $40 million and I think New Line Cinema is still trying to recoup that money... almost 10 years later. Highlight? B-Movie martial arts star Brian Thompson is cheeserific.

1. Doom. Never has a title foretold the fall of a movie quite like Doom, starring the Rock. Okay, I know that you’re probably laughing if a) you saw the movie or b) the name the Rock as an actor makes you laugh. Hunt aliens, walk down corridors, and spout pitiful one-liners to the background of ultra non-hip guitar rock. That’s pretty much the story. But there is one gimmick the moviemakers tried to insert to try to pull gamers into the theatre. Since Doom (the game) is a first person shooter, the director put a scene in the movie with same type of feel as the game. The only feel I got from this movie was an uneasy rumbling in my tummy which caused a quick sprint to the bathroom to release the sub b-movie demons from my intestines.

And there you have it. The good thing about this list is that things could change. As long as there are video games that skyrocket to success (cough, Halo, cough), there will be Hollywood big-wigs buying up the rights in order to screw things up and disappoint moviegoers. But hey, they’ve been doing that for years.

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