50 Cent Video Game

Developer/Publisher: Genuine Games/Sierra Entertainment

ESRB Rating: M for Mature

50 Cent, or Fiddy, is tearing up all kinds of media outlets. Music is one, of course, and his movie, “Get Rich or Die Trying” was a moderate success. So what’s the next natural outlet? Video games! So Fiddy tries his hand as a main character in 50 Cent: Bulletproof, but this game goes to show that it isn’t bulletproof and should be shot down repeatedly.

The Story

How many times has your boy called up and is need of serious help? And you go down there with your crew and get shot nine times in the back? Man, it seems like every day over here in the Midwest. But that’s how the story goes in 50 Cent: Bulletproof. K-dog calls up Fiddy and asks for help so everyone's favorite mumbling rapper gathers G-Unit together for some traditional smackdown back up. But K-dog ends up dead and 50 is shot in the back 9 times (hmmm, does that sound familiar?) So our hero sets out to find out what what is going on in a not so friendly way.

The Gameplay

You think the story is poor? How about trying to control and shoot at the same time? Bulletproof is a 3rd person action shooter like Tomb Raider or Max Payne, just not as good. Shooting is akin to randomly aiming and firing. The weapons are just awful to control, but there is a target that locks-on to enemies for a second or two before it disappears (what???) and you have to lock on again.

If you can stomach trying to control and shoot, then going through the campaign mode just might make you retch. This game is mission-based and at times you’ll make allies with Dr. Dre, Eminem and other rap stars playing different characters. So why would you want to play a 3-hour long Campaign mode at all? If you’re a hardcore 50 fan or G-Unit fan, you can unlock some songs and videos to add to your playlist. There are a lot of songs by 50 and his crew and a few videos to bump to, but the videos look worse than the graphics.

The Graphics

The main characters models are very good, if there’s anything good about this game at all. Unfortunately, every one else looks like they need a face lift from Dr. Beverly Hills 90210.

Equally drab were the levels. The designs were just too dark to really do anything half the time, which I think was a way of hiding the pixilated textures. Nice try 50 Cent, I’m on to your programming skills.

Thompson’s Fifty Cents

I have been waiting a long time for a game I can make a pun to in my little heading of “Thompson’s Two Cents”. Bulletproof is nothing to clamor over. The movie did not do that well at the box office, and I’m not surprised this game is so bad. Not much can be said about the graphics except the character models and animations were pretty good. The controls stunk, and quite honestly, the storyline—though VERY loosely based on events in real life—just went flat right away after playing through the first level.

I better watch my back, otherwise I might have 9 bullets with my name on it. But I’ll stop them with this game.